Feelings

Do you hear the beautiful and soothing song in my blog.It's really calming me actually.
O..Allah I don't deserve your heaven and other merits however I also scare on what
kinds of treats that I'll get from You,the angels,prophets..

I know I don't deserve it because of my own weaknesses.You gave " it" for me silently.
Please give me guides to accept 'it" in my breaths,words,thinks,emotions,my stories,
my memories,my life,my journey towards You.

Even it hurts me so bad but it doesn't if I can feel Your appearance,Love,How calm in
worship You.

Ya Allah You knows that no one understands me except You and proud_muslim(female).
Thank you for letting her to understand the hardships that I'm facing.But where's she
currently?Where have she been? If she's in pain please help her..Help her.All her advices
were motivating.They made me felt that there's a person cares about me..Thanks for
the person who feels me..

I have been judge that heaven is not for me.I have been told that I is not Prophet Muhammad
followers.Huhh...it would me nice if my blogger friends can feel me and understand me the
way I should be.I'm just 15 and I can't find my strength yet.

I'm suffering in "it",loneliness,quietness,sadness..Allah give me a powerful strength to face
all these by myself..

I really need care,advices,motivating words..Remember that if you help your brother who
needs help Allah will lighten your hardships in the afterlife..I help others however what I get
just insults,mocks,hatred...